LIKE WE (USA) DON'T HACK! OH SHUT UP!!

CARAMELLO CANDY BAR-OH MY!

       During lunch-time at the Burg Grocery yesterday a fellow employee joined me for a bite to eat. When we close to being done he handed me a piece of this chocolate. He noted that it was a piece of a Caramello candy bar.

      Wow! What it good. In all my 72 years, I have never had a "Caramello" and am not sure how I have missed such a taste treat all this time. Again, it is never too late for anything! 

ZENO'S RIGHT HERE IN THE BURG!

       Sometimes when we move to a new community, we have to say good-bye to our favorite eateries back home until, at least, we come back for a visit. A few years ago when moving to Williamsburg, Iowa, I had to leave one of my favorite pizza places that was the place I had my first pizza back in the 1950's--Zeno's.

       However, after yesterday and having lunch at our local pizza place, Pizza Haus, right here in down-town Williamsburg, I have changed my mind for sure. For $7.50 you can have all the sliced pizza of various kinds that you want, large drink, salad bar, and home made cookies and/or cinnamon rolls. Such a deal! And, while sitting there and eating my slices of pepperoni, I am convinced that I like this New York thin sliced pizza better than Zeno's. 

         Don't get me wrong, when back in Marshalltown, I will, if the ocassion arises, look forward to going down memory lane at Zeno's. If you are ever in eastern Iowa and maybe shopping at Tanger Outlet Mall or taking in an Iowa Hawkeye sporting event, give strong consideration to coming on in to Williamsburg for lunch at the Pizza Haus. You will not be disappointed. Now, if I could just move Taylor's Maid Rite down here!

ONE OF MY DUMBER MOMENTS!

        This past week I washed one of my favorite all season coats. It's dated in its green and blue color, but, I love wearing it just feels good and is almost like an old friend. 

        After the wash, I put it on and couldn't get it zipped up. Something was wrong with the zipper as the little end piece to get it started was missing. I decided to take it over to the Dry Cleaners in Marengo as they do minor repairs. 

          After showing it to the lady there, she commented on it being reversible and simply took the zipper lever from the inside and zipped in down and Bingo problem solved! Talk about feeling stupid! It was a nice drive and I did a couple of store window washing jobs while there`so all was not lost. It could have been worse. I could have called a refrigerator repair man just to find out it was unplugged.

TOP TEN BLOG STORIES TO DATE!

       The following list  is of the most read Blog stories (dennisnowandago.blogspot.com) from the past three years. It is important to note that stories pertaining to family, friends, classmates, school, and home are most read and important to us all.


1. 8/20/2016--Laurel Football 1961-- continued

2. 8/19/2016--Cousin Alan Laverty/Happy I Made Time

3. 1/18/2015--Jack Baker Tragedy

4. 8/20/2016--Poetic Tribute by Mary Elizabeth Laverty

5. 3/5/2016--Speed, Size, Give Veteran Laurel 1st Unbeaten Year

6. 3/3/2015--The Salad from May Laverty

7. 11/5/2014--70 yr. Old Classmate Injured in Double Play

8. 12/20/2014--Deborah Laverty's Christmas Story of Long Ago

9.  8/27/2016--An Ode To Alan

10. 1/1/2016--My Aunt Mary Laverty 

REMEMBERING JONATHAN WINTERS

       The other night I was watching a re-run of Johnny Carson and his guest was Jonathan Winters. I always thought he was on of the best old time comedians ever especially with improvisation. 

        One of his best characters that he used was Elwood P. Suggins. One time I called a friend of mine who sold real-estate in Des Moines, under the pretense of being Mr. Suggins. Back in the 1990's the telephone number did not appear on your phone so you didn't know who was calling.

      I told my friend that I was "Suggins" from Topeka, Kansas and I got her number off a wall at a truck stop. I was moving to Des Moines and was looking for an inexpensive home for my wife and five kids. She fell for my "ruse"`and I finally had to tell her that it was me. I can't believe I got away with it! 

CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS!

     When the FBI and CIA, supposedly,  came out with proof that Russian's hacked whatever during our elections, everyone screamed that Trump didn't agree and back it up. Then when he came out with response to Obama and United Nations/Israel issue, everyone jumped him about staying out of issues until he gets elected. 

ANOTHER JOKE OF THE DAY!

        From the same source as the previous Mortician joke. "I am going to open my own Crematory here in town and call it-------Burn To Urn!"

JOKE OF THE DAY!

"What is a Morticians"s favorite vacation destination?"------"DEATH VALLEY!"

WORLD'S LARGEST LOTTERY!

     Taken from USA Today "World's Largest lottery is $2.4 Billion in Spain. El Gordo has arrived, and it's a lot more fun than El Nifno or El Chapo.

       El Gordo, Spanish for the "The Fat One," is Spain's annual Christmas lottery taking place Thursday. The world's richest sweepstakes, this years prizes will total a fat $2.4 billion, giveor take a hundred million.

        There is a catch, though. No one walks away with billions--the grand prize is about $4 million before taxes. The good news is there are scores of grand prizes, and almost 15,0000 people cash in some kind of winning ticket. Many people buy several tickets with the same number, hoping to multiply their good fortune. John Bacon.

        This system makes sense. Lots of people can be winners!!!!

THAT'S TOO FUNNY! IN A CAR WASH?

    This is one of those situations where maybe it would have been funnier to actually been there but---! A guy in the Burg Grocery this past week was talking about a friend that took his pick-up through a car wash in Grinnell, Iowa.

        In the back of the pick-up was a huge plastic bag of pop/beer cans to be taken to a re-cycling center. Going through the car-wash the big blower/dryer came down and ripped open the big plastic bag and blew the pop/beer cans all over the place.

       I am sure it wasn't funny to the employees and/or occupants of the pick-up who had to pick them all up. Also, the person coming along behind had to be mad and laughing at the same time!

1ST DAY OF WINTER-BE AN OPTIMIST!

          Before you get too discouraged about yesterday being the first day of winter, December, 21, 2016, remember that each day now will only get longer. I am personally encouraged this time of year because my birthday is at the end of January and by then it is light at least by 6 PM. What's a month? Living in Iowa we must always find ways to be an optimist when it comes to winter weather!

WORLD'S MOST POLLUTED CITIES!

      An article in USA Today this past week pointed out the World's most polluted cities. World Health Orginization rankings are based on the amount of PM 2.5--particle matter smaller than 2.5 microns in diameter common to dust, soot, and smoke. 

        WHO guidelines call for no matter than 10 micrograms of PM 2.5 per cubic meter of air. Zabol, Iran is this year's winner at a whopping 217. Most top polluted cities are found in India, China, and even Saudi Arabia. Beijing, China has been well above 200.

        The worst US city didn't crack WHO's top 1,000 cities. Visalia, California came in at 1,080. We don't have it so bad. And, what are we to do when the USA does everything possible in fighting global warming and the rest of the world lags far far behind.

DEB'S JOKE OF THE WEEK!

     "Who is Santa's favorite singer?"  "Elf-is Presley!"

CAN'T GET SONG OUT OF MY HEAD!

       We all have gotten a song stuck in our head and it just won't leave. I have carried it to another obsessive compulsive level. A couple of weeks ago I heard an old dance song on the inter-com at the Burg Grocery.

        It was a song from my dancing days during the 1990's at a club called  Denny Arthur's in Urbandale, Iowa. The place was great for the "older" crowd as early in the evening the disc jockey would play really old tunes from the 1960's and 1970's. And, as the evening progressed he would work up through the 1980's and then current stuff from the 1990's. At that point I was out of there!

       One of my favorite songs to dance to was a 1980's song by the group The Gap called "You Dropped A Bomb On Me!" When I heard the song  at the store it wouldn't leave my head. I finally went home and ordered a CD of it from Amazon. Now I have been playing it over and over just like other songs from the past ie: Steely Dan. Just give me a few more days of playing it while driving around and it will get old. So shoot me!!

REMEMBERING ZA ZA!

A great quote from the late Za ZA Gabor! "I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house!"    Another--"I never hated a man enough to give back the diamond ring!"

OLD MEAT GRINDER STORY!

       Are any of you old enough to remember when your mother had a meat grinder that she attached to the side of the kitchen counter or a table? She then ground up the meat with an attached handle and out it came. 

        My best memory was when my mother took left-over pot roast and ground it up for sandwiches. She would mix in with the beef salad dressing and some finely diced up sweet pickle. It was absolutely delicious! So simple of a left-over, but, oh so good!

        Since I mis-placed my old meat grinder that my sister, Doris bought for me years ago, I had our butcher at the Burg Grocery grind some cooked rump roast for me. I added a little mayo and some diced sweet pickle. Although it was very good, I am not sure it was as good as my memory serves me. 

         I think as we get older our taste buds change and maybe sometimes we just can't go back. Even if I never attempt to make this left-over meal again,I will always have very fond memories of those ground beef sandwiches at the kitchen table many years ago! 

THE BEST FUDGE EVER! SAYS DORIS

       This past week-end a lady here in Williamsburg made some of the best fudge I believe I have ever had-at least in a long long time. I took some along on a visit accompanied by sister Doris this past week to my other sister Deborah in Northwest Indiana. 

        Doris is the ultimate fudge critic. She loved it. Wow! This was like getting the Pope's blessing. I knew it was very good, but, now Doris made it official. Here is the recipe even though this may be exactly how you make it

EASY SMOOTH FUDGE

                 12 oz. white almond bark                           1 T. margarine

                 6 oz. semisweet chocolate chips                  1 1/2 tsp. vanilla

                 1 (14 oz.) can condensed milk                     3/4 C. chopped pecans (opt.)

                 Melt almond bark in microwave watch carefully. Do not overcook. Stir in 

                 chocolate chips until they are melted. Add remaining ingredients and stir

                 until all is blended. Pour into buttered 9x9 inch pan. Cool

TO BE WARM OR NOT TO BE WARM IN CHICAGO!

        This past Monday, December 12, 2016, I was downtown Chicago with my sisters on a little business/pleasure trip. To say the least, it was cold and with that wind blowing in from Lake Michigan always makes matters worse.

        My first observation with winter wear was noticing young men wearing  their stylish Pea Coats cut just above their rear-ends. If you are going to stay warm anyone knows that part of your body has to be covered. 

     Next, I remembered back in the 1980's when visiting Chicago around Christmas time almost everyone was wearing a genuine fur coat. I swear that on one ocassion I felt I was the only person wearing a cloth knee length trench coat. Of course, today we all know you cannot wear "fur!"

      While walking along in the freezing cold, I mentioned to my sister Deborah that a "Carhartt" coat was needed. She had never heard of a Carhartt. Never heard of one of  the most warm coat going! Big city people! I live in a small rural farm community where every third person is sporting one during the winter months! 

       If I lived in Chicago, I think I would have a Air Force parka with fur lined hood and a pair of old fashion snow pants. Oh ya! And, my old ski mittens! It always amazes me why you want to freeze to death just for the sake of looking COOL!  

FORCED TO READ A BOOK!!

        This past Wednesday, December 14, 2016, I arrived home after work and flipped on the old TV. I have Mediacom cable and it was OUT! Next, I tried to fire up the old Computer and I couldn't get connected to the internet. I left my charger to my cell phone this past week-end at my sister's home` in NW Indiana so was reluctant to use in much until I purchased another one on Thursday.

         It was a strange feeling to think that you were cut off from the outside world via technology. I even got rid of my old radio long ago, but, thought about just sitting in the car for awhile and listening to the radio. 

        My next move was going to the Library and using their computers. Guess what! No internet either. It left me with no alternative but to check out a book at a library of all places! It was a great decision and maybe a good sign of some kind. I went home and curled up with a John Grisham novel----"Rogue Lawyer!" I should have done this a long time ago without the assistance of losing "tech" stuff. On this extremely cold December Sunday, you will find me in my new Laz-E-Boy with a good book!

Dennis: Now and Ago: DEBORAH LAVERTY'S CHRISTMAS STORY OF LONG AGO

Dennis: Now and Ago: DEBORAH LAVERTY'S CHRISTMAS STORY OF LONG AGO:       One of the most beloved and heart warming family related stories was written by my sister, Deborah Laverty, when she worked at the Sun...

HEY PUTZ!

       This morning while shopping at the Burg Grocery, I yelled out to one of the young guys working there with a "Hey Putz!" I told him I didn't know why I blurted that word out as I really don't know what it actually means. I just googled it and the definition means "a stupid or worthless person." Maybe we should be careful when we blurt out something when we really don't know what it means for sure!

CHRISTMAS STORIES YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS!

      Two of my favorite family Christmas stories can be read and found on my Blog from December of 2014.I will be bringing them up once more to Facebook this week-end, December 17th, 2016. These stories are worth reading this Christmas season!

JOKE OF THE WEEK!

      "Why does a gorilla have such big nostrils?  Because he has big fingers!"

BRANDON'S JOKE OF THE WEEK!

   What is a three humped camel called? PREGNANT!

CARRY-OUT FOR ASHTON KUTCHER'S GRANDMA!

       This won't go down as a biggy, but, today I assisted the grand-mother of the actor, Ashton Kutcher. She lives right here in Williamsburg, Iowa. To be truthful, I didn't know who she was until I got back in and a long time employee of Burg Grocery informed me. Wasn't that special!

DREAM ABOUT WHAT IF--THEN MOVE ON!

     This past week, a lady wrote a letter to the editor in the Cedar Rapids Gazette concerning the results of the Presidential election. Her letter dealt with "If Political Tables Were Turned."

       Basically, she just goes on and on about how great things would be if Hillary Clinton would have won the election. Just like all the pundits on cable networks, it is so easy to sit around and talk about all the "what if's!" Give the man a chance! He hasn't even been sworn in yet and for some the world is coming to an end. 

        It's just like playing the Lottery. It's fun to dream about what you would do if you won many millions. At some point, you have to come back to reality and live your life.  

IF YOU'RE GOING TO QUIT--LEAVE ALREADY!

      I was reminded this past week of an employment situation,  when an employee at the Burg Grocery was talking about how long it would be before she would be leaving for her new job. She has talked about her new position for the past month in front of others in the store--- great place to work, more money, and more responsibility.

        When I was a much younger man and working at Allied Mutual in Des Moines, the policy was if you planned on leaving--go immediately!  The theory was, just like at the Burg Grocery situation, they didn't want you sitting around for two weeks or so and bad mouthing Allied or going on and on about how great your new job was gong to be just leave already! In some situations probably not a bad idea!


        

APPRECIATING PEARL HARBOR COMES WITH AGE!!

         It seems the older I get December 7th, and its importance keeps slipping year by year. Conversely, the closer I get to going out than coming in the significance of the sacrifice all the young men and women made for their country becomes more important to me. 

         Whether it be the World Wars, Viet Nam, Korean Conflict, or the Middle East, let's all take a moment to at least give thanks to those that made it possible for the rest of us to live in the greatest Country in the world.

ANOTHER PIRATE JOKE FROM BRANDON!

       What does a pirate wear on his head? Hair-r-r-r-r!

BRANDON'S JOKE OF THE WEEK!

     Pirate's favorite type of movie? One that is R-R-R-R-R rated!!!

CLYDE EDDY-REALLY EARLY RISER!

       Telling the story about a lady getting up early to do her laundry, reminded me of my late brother-in-law Clyde Eddy. The story goes that he was always an early riser and at one time he would drive up to Cecil's restaurant on the southeast corner of highway 14 and old highway 30 for coffee. 

       He would get there in the AM so early that he actually was allowed to have a key to get in and  presumably made the coffee. I was never sure exactly what time he arrived, but, I believe it was between 5 and 6 AM. I am sure there are those of you out there that will say---"You think that was early!"

SNOW STORMS BIGGER AS CHILD?

       Today I was doing windows for a senior couple here in Williamsburg. Somehow the conversation "drifted" toward snow storms and the like when we were kids. The gentleman customer pointed out one reason for everything being bigger was the fact that we were experiencing and seeing things as we were "little and smaller" people. Obviously, things did look and seem bigger. I started to laugh as I never heard and discussed such events in those terms. Again, funny!

SHE GOT UP HOW EARLY-LAUNDRY?

     A lady at the Burg Grocery was over-heard talking about being a really early riser. She even mentioned she had a neighbor that always was the first to hang out her laundry on wash day. I mentioned that I always knew there were farmers that wanted to be the first at planting corn and so forth, but, not women trying to be the "first" at such a visible task. The customer's final comment was that the word was that her neighbor actually washed her clothes the night before! Funny!

A GOOD ONE FROM TWO CENTS WORTH!!

     Taken from the column in the Des Moines Register December 2, 2016. "At least 60 percent of the fans at Drake women's basketball games are over 60 years or older, yet at the Knapp Center, they must play LOUD and obnoxious music. Give us a break and tone it down. Also, let's have some 60's and 70's tunes!

DO YOU REMEMBER HOLLYWOOD SQUARES?

        One of the funniest comedians ever and in the center for years on the show was Paul Lynde.
He was asked by Peter Marshall the question. Can you make an elephant jump? His reply was "Yes with ear plugs and two bricks!" That show during the 1970's and beyond was one of the funniest shows around.

BRANDON'S JOKE OF WEEK!

      " HOW DO YOU FIX A TUBA?"  "A TUBE-A- GLUE!"

CHRISTMAS CARDS OR NOT TO!

       For years I have to admit that I have not sent out Christmas cards i any shape or form except for very close family. This year I decided to change all that. I am an old throw back to the philosophy of Hallmark's slogan--"When you Care Enough To Send the Very Best."

         I used to say if you got a card of any kind from me, I at least took the time to go to a better card shop and took the time to view several cards and send that special person with how I personally wanted to express the ocassion. 

       This year I purchased a box of old fashion greeting cards from a local card shop, but, sorry to say not the Hallmark brand. Anyway, it does say Merry Christmas and not just Happy Holiday like some today. I figured that each card sent with stamp came to around $1.50 each. My conclusion is if good friends, old class-mates, and family are not worth that much then what the ---! 

        Don't get me wrong. The important thing is to be remembered what ever the method--old fashion card, a computer designed card or just a telephone call. I am a little iffy on a tweet, text, or a simple Facebook message! Merry Christmas to you all and may you all find happiness and prosper in the New Year!  

PRICE OF WALLEYE-WOW!

     This past Thanksgiving eve, I dined at one of my favorite seafood restaurants in West Des Moines-The Waterfront Seafood Market. I always start with my favorite Oyster Stew which is outstanding at this local seafood eatery. 

      My big shock and surprise was the price of another favorite--pan fried walleye. The sticker price had risen to $28.95 since my last visit. I settled for trout amandine at just a shade over $20. 
If I want to have walleye I will go to Hy-Vee, buy it fresh and then make it at home or I better go out and find a couple more part time jobs! 

LUNCH W/ FRIENDS OF LONG AGO!

      This past Monday, November 28, 2016, I drove to West Des Moines and met for lunch at Maxie's restaurant a group of old friends that I hadn't seen or been with for over 20 years. The individual responsible for the luncheon was Doug Callison. 

        Even though most of these friends go back to days starting in the late 1970's and "bar" acquaintances, some became good friends like Doug, Bob Merritt, Marv Steffenson, and Bill Bryant to just name a few. I appreciate Doug for inviting me and hope to do it again next Spring when some return from their winter destinations.   

    

TRUMP-HELL IF YOU DO HELL IF YOU DON'T!!

      For one I am extremely pleased that Trump/Pence did step in and possibly saved 1,000 jobs in the Carrier deal in Indiana. The critics are now saying, without really knowing, that tax concessions and so forth had to be given to Carrier. The critics are also saying that 400 jobs would be lost. The point is he stepped in and tried to do something positive. If Obama did it, and he didn't do anything, there would be those saying he was short of being the Savior! Just keep doing would you believe in President Elect Trump!

HOW BIG IS IT?

        Did you know that the island of Cuba is over 700 miles long and over 50 miles wide? I have been on Jamaica and always thought it was pretty big at over 135 miles long.  The island of Mauii in Hawaii is only 40 miles at its longest. Cuba is the biggest island in the Caribbean. 

I WON'T BACK DOWN! WORDS TO LIVE BY!

A song that I have always loved by Tom Petty & The Heart-breakers is also one to live by! 

Well, I won't back down

No, I won't back down

You can stand me up @ the gates of hell

But, I won't back down.

No, I'll stand my ground

Won't be turned around

And, I'll keep this world 

from draggin' me down

Gonna stand my ground.

BIG TIME CRIME-ALMOST -IN THE BURG!

      Wednesday morning a customer came back in to the Burg Grocery and announced that his car had been stolen out of the parking lot! The high-school clerk behind the courtesy counter grabbed the phone book and started looking for the telephone number of the police department. I casually mentioned to him that this probably qualified for 911! Dah! 

      In the meantime, the customer had already called 911 and the police were on their way. Being a carry-out guy, I was able to go outside and keep abreast of what was happening. Evidently, two cars were parked right beside each other that were the same make, year and color. 

        The police did come and knew that the "other" car was owned by someone locally and that maybe there as just a mix-up. In addition, both cars were new enough and did not require keys to start them. After a long wait,a young lady brought the "taken car" back. 

       She was a grand-daughter of the owner and was back visiting from college. Somehow the grand-parents or who knows figured it out that it was not their car! But, what were the odds of that happening-two cars parked side by side with the same color, same year, same make and model? It did provide a little excitement for this "Mayberry" for a moment!

  

    
        

JERRY ROBERTS-"WON'T DO WHAT!"

        While we were having dinner on Thanksgiving day at the Hy-Vee they were playing some Bee Gee's overhead. It reminded Jerry of a very funny story at least for me. He was having a very hard time locating a CD of the "Best of the Bee Gee's." A friend finally found one through Amazon and got it for Jerry. 

       Jerry was all excited about listening to it and was ready to listen to it in his new Chevrolet Silverado deluxe pick-up. To his amazement his pick-up didn't have a CD player! The dealership gave him some reason why, but! Just listening to Jerry tell the story in his slow "good ol' boy" way, I couldn't stop laughing for a spell. Maybe it would have been even funnier if it would have been a Cadlilac! 

THANKSGIVING WITH FRIEND OR TWO!

        This Thanksgiving Holiday worked out really well for my old class-mate, Jerry Roberts, and myself. His wife, Judy, traveled to Puerto Rico, with their daughter to see their grand-son play in a college basketball tournament. 

         I traveled to Urbandale and stayed the night and Thanksgiving day. We dined Wednesday evening at one of both our favorite restaurants-The Waterfront in West Des Moines, Iowa. It was kind of nice looking forward to a bowl of the best oyster stew around and a little "Trout Amandine" rather than turkey.

        On Thanksgiving we drove to Norwalk and spent some time with another old Laurel school classmate, Bob Baker. It is always special getting together with these guys as we went all the way through school -kindergarten to high school graduation in 1962.

       For our noon dinner, Jerry and I just stopped off at the cafe in the Hy-Vee store on 35th street in West DesMoines. We both enjoyed a delicious buffet meal complete with a great slice of pie. We had tried one restaurant that was open, but, had over an hour wait. The important thing was just enjoying the time with a good friend!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BIG SISTER DORIS!

Although we don't tell one another with words,

It is never to late to tell her on this special ocassion 

how much I love her and all she has meant to me!

QUALITY TIME W/ KIDS--HA!

       After listening to someone discuss "quality time" with their kids, it reminded me of my own thoughts and feelings of those first time divorce years when my kids were very young. You never wanted to say something to me about---"At least you get to have quality time with your kids!"

        Just spending time with your kids on a week-end or over-nite basis without any controversy is not what it is all about. What made those times special was when you could be there when a child got sick or falling down with an injury and comforting them. Don't get me wrong those week-ends were special, but, it wasn't experiencing all what it means to be a parent! 

THEY BOUGHT HOW MANY CASES OF BUTTER?

       Yesterday, at the Burg Grocery, a couple came in and inquired about purchasing "four" cases of butter. I repeat four! The guy was a large man and appeared to have a weight issue and possibly cholesterol issues and who knows what else. All speculation, of course, on my part. 

       We had a sale on a certain brand of butter which cut the price from a $4 range down to approx. $2.00. A significant savings for sure.  And, I know what you are all saying. But Dennis, " It can be frozen." And, in one sense I was not surprised as this is a community with a lot of old frugal "German" farmers. 

         It was still funny to me. Watching this big guy check out a couple` of cases of butter and his wife right behind with two more. It doesn't take much to entertain me as you have gotten to know! That's still a lot of butter!

CAREFUL WHO YOU GIVE THE BIRD!

        This past week, a local good Samaritan was following someone in their car that had, by accounts, had left a purse or at least some personal item on top of the car. The person being followed became annoyed at being trailed and flipped, the the person following, the "bird."

         It reminded me of many years ago when at a stop light in Clive, Iowa the person ahead of me in a car was bent over and hidden from view. After a bit I honked and the person sat right up and immediately threw me the middle finger. It turned out she was a waitress at a local bar I was headed to. That was an embarrassing moment especially for her. The lesson is always be careful who you flip off!     

"WHEN YOU CARE ENOUGH TO SEND THE VERY BEST!"

       Through the years I was always impressed with the slogan of the Hallmark card company of Kansas City, Missouri. Whether it was at a Holiday or a birthday, I always attempted to go to an outlet that sold the Hallmark name and took the time to read several different cards until I picked the one that had the message that conveyed my feelings.

        Even as the price of a card went up as did the cost of a stamp, my contention was that the person I was directing it to was worth it! I know that sending out an old fashion greeting card has lost favor over the last few years. Lots of family and friends are making their own via computer and so on. Many will simply throw a greeting out on social media such as Facebook. 

        I have been absent from sending an old fashion card to many friends and family for many past years. Not this year. The card I am sending may not be a "Hallmark" but, it conveys my message and yes, to those very close such as my sisters, they will receive a card directed to them personally. I probably shouldn't afford it like a lot of retirees, but, you are worth it!  Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

BRANDON'S JOKE OF THE WEEK!

      "What do you get when you cross an ice cube and a baby chicken?"  A SLICK CHICK!

AS GENERAL GEORGE PATTON ONCE SAID--

      I couldn't help but think during the last night of the Presidential Election, a line from the movie "Patton." The general was observing through his binoculars the defeat of the German's  General  Rommel in North Africa during World War II. 

       As Rommel's tanks were sitting there in ruin, Patton announced something like---"Rommel, you beautiful S.O.B., I read your book!" Don't ask me why I thought of that line while watching the election results,I just did!

FORGETFUL- LEAVING SHOES ON TOP OF CAR!

       We have all been forgetful from time to time. Forgetfulness does not have a direct correlation to age. One of my most memorable happened when I was still very young in my early 20's!

       At this particular time, we had friends who lived in Omaha, Nebraska and we headed there to visit for the week-end. At the time, my wife, Sandi, and daughter, La Risa, lived in an apartment at 7706 Dennis Drive in Urbandale, Iowa. 

        While packing the car, which was parked out front, I placed a pair of dress shoes on the top of the vehicle for who knows why? Somehow we drove off with those shoes still on top and no one noticing. They fell off and our mailman found them laying on the ground and kept them until our return.

        The only thing that was somewhat embarrassing was that going out  one evening  to eat at a "fancy" restaurant, I had to wear a pair of casual shoes with my sports coat and tie. I made sure that I kept my shoes well hidden under the table. Belie`ve me these were different times in dress code, etc. All ended well for a memorable, forgetful, and somewhat embarrassing time.

PIZZA FOR THANKSGIVING?!?!

        A lady that I had just helped with her groceries was talking to a lady she knew in the adjacent vehicle about family returning home for Thanksgiving. The lady I had helped mentioned that much of her family was leaving on Tuesday and traveling a long distance and also picking up additional family in Nebraska.

         In a very short period of time she explained about all these people coming to her home for the Holiday! In concluding her story she mentioned that she would be taking them all out for PIZZA! I started to laugh! I responded by saying something like--"Your taking them out for pizza on Thanksgiving?" She indicated that she no longer cooks for big gatherings. Times have changed for some! For what it is worth I know one family that has lasagna for Christmas!

NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED-WELL OK MAYBE--!

       While helping out a lady with her groceries this past week, somehow the topic got around to politics. Surprise! Surprise! She mentioned that-- "Old white men were just not ready to elect a woman!"

         I just smiled and gave her my usual "Thank You!" and went back in the store. Make no mistake, I was no Hillary Clinton fan, but, this old white man could have voted for a woman. Just not this woman. Besides, even though I was not in love with the messenger- Donald Trump, it was time for a big change in the way things were getting done, or not done, in Washington.

        I always think of Margaret Thatcher who was Prime Minister during the 1980's. Now she was my type of woman to lead a country-strong! Maybe there are some "old white guys" that can't handle a woman as President of this country, but, not this guy! 

        
       

PERSONAL TAILGATING-A REMEDY!

       The other day someone mentioned that someone had been walking too close behind them and made the uncomfortable. That has happened to me on occasion, especially walking into a grocery store. Here is a couple of things I have done when confronted with such an incident.

       One thing I have done when someone is walking behind too closely is just to abruptly stop and then give that person a hard stare! Another method is to quickly step aside and use a hand gesture to wave them on. Other-words, if you are in such a big hurry, be my guest, and move on! 

NOW I KNOW I'M OLD!

        It came yesterday afternoon around 4:30 PM. I finally gave in and purchased a Laz-E-Boy recliner. For a number of years and at least since living here in Williamsburg, I have tried to make a small inexpensive couch due for the thing I used to watch TV and nap. 

        Prior to that and living in Marshalltown, I had a fairly large sectional that suited me just great and was a great hub for grand-kids and those visiting. By down-sizing into a smaller home` and living room, I no longer had that luxury. I was always like Dagwood Bumsted and was comfortable napping on the couch.

        We'll see how this works out. Last night I sat very comfortably in my new chair for at least an hour before getting a little edgy. I guess if I really want to take a nap I can always go to my bedroom and really get some` good Z'zzzzz! I always said when I was a younger man that when you got a Laz-E-Boy you were finally considered old. Welcome Dennis!

I WON THE TRIFECTA-WOW!!!

      At least I got your attention. #1 My Chicago Cubs finally won the World Series against the Cleveland Indians in game 7 by the score of 8-7 on November 2, 2016.  #2. Donald Trump won the Presidential election on November 8, 2016, as an underdog against Hillary Clinton. #3 The Iowa Hawkeyes beat the Michigan Wolverines on November 12, 2016, with a  last second field goal. The Hawks were a big underdog being un-ranked and Michigan being ranked #3 in nation. 

OLD SAYING TO KEEP AN EYE ON!

      "Watch what the poor people do then don't do it!"

DON'T SHUFFLE-PICK EM' UP!

      One thing that disturbs me about getting older is the following. When I travel any distance, it takes me about a dozen steps, when getting out of the car, to straighten up and be able to walk with some normalcy. At this rate in another five years it will take meat twenty steps. 

       When sitting on my couch, I usually pull myself up by putting my toes under a low ledge on my coffee table. Of course, I have to go Ugh! That makes it official.  You know you are getting old when as you are getting up you go Ugh!
  
  
       As my mother got older and did a little shuffling with her walk, I would tell her she needed to pretend she was marching in a band and try to lift those feet high. Or, act as she was a beauty pageant contestant and put that foot up and in front of the next! Mind over matter! It seems to be getting harder to make my mind stay on top of the "matter!" 

LOSING MY COMB-DROVE ME NUTS!

      A lady came back into the Burg Grocery yesterday and couldn't remember what she had done with her cell phone. After checking around the store, and her car, she went home and evidently found it in her home somewhere. 

       I remember going through a period when I was much, much younger, that it seemed I was always losing my comb that I carried around in my hip pocket. Even though losing the cheap plastic thing was not a big deal, it was the principle of the thing. Sometimes, I found myself looking in places that made no sense and even in coat pockets that I hadn't worn for months. It would drive me nuts!

        I used to worry then that as I got older my memory would get worse and I would really be in trouble with losing things. First, I don't carry a comb anymore and I actually have become better at putting things in THEIR place when at home. Second, when I was much younger I got into the habit of making lists--- Daily To Do  list, Grocery list and my Writing List. Keeping a To Do list and keeping it ongoing has always worked well for me. Whether in business or personal as you think of something just add it to the list. It is written down and you won't forget it. If you don't get around to doing it today it will  be there tomorrow. 

       After my cell phone slipped out of my pocket, fell under my seat at a movie theater and had to fetch an employee` with a flash-light, I think through where stuff is in my various pockets before doing something like that again. As we get older, we just need to figure out ways to beat Mother Nature!  

BRANDON'S JOKE OF THE WEEK!

       A guy is walking down the street carrying this mantle style grandfather clock. A drunk comes out of a bar and runs into the guy with the clock and breaks it. As the guy was getting up off the sidewalk, the drunk said: :If you would wear a watch like everybody else this wouldn't have happened!"

EVER BEEN THROUGH THE TWILIGHT ZONE?- I HAVE!

       Someone at the Burg Grocery yesterday was telling about her brother's birthday coming up but couldn't remember how old he was going to be. Yep! Back I went!

        I was 46 years old back in 19??? and my birthday was coming up shortly. For some reason when I woke up one morning prior, I thought, for some reason, that I was going to be 48. I sort of panicked for a minute. I really thought I was going to be 48 and was stewing about had happened to that one year. Was I really going to be that old? I quick did the math and starting breathing again. 

       The other situation was when I stopped into the Tama State Bank in the late 1990's in Marshalltown, Iowa. As I was making out a deposit slip, I wrote the date as "1974!" To this day I don't know why I did that. It is not worth hiring a Shrink! I suppose if those are the worst situations that can happen to me over three score and ten, then I'm lucky! 
      

A POLITICAL SAYING WORTH REMEMBERING!

"Those who know aren't talking and 

those who talk don't know!"

YOU CAN APPRECIATE THE ORIGINAL TEA PARTY!

YOU MAY NOT HAVE LIKED THE MESSENGER BUT---!

THE MESSAGE WAS LOUD AND CLEAR!!

HERE COMES A BIG FIRST!

      It was pointed out last night during the late Presidential coverage was that not since 1928 will we have had a Republican President and an all Republican Congress!

SINGING CUM BYE YA-- ALL THAT'S LEFT!

       The likes of Hillary Clinton reminds me of years ago when a contestant on the Miss America contest would answer a question like:  "I would like to bring peace to the world and end all hunger!" She thinks or pretends to tell us that if she wins this election we will all stand around in this huge circle and sing "What the World Needs Now Is Love -------!! Tell that to those around the world like North Korea, China, ISIS and other extremist groups that hate us and maybe throw in a half dozen or so other dictators around the world.

       I think one has to be a realist. Another thing, I don't and never will buy into the Liberal Agenda of helping and really coming up with some solid solutions to problems in our inner cities. For minorities, buying into this hoax, election after election, is like Lucy telling Charlie Brown she won't take the football away! She always does! This isn't a perfect world and I think most of us realize it. Don't think anything of it if I don't join in at the campfire!

        

A GREAT MOVIE-HACKSAW RIDGE!

       Yesterday I went to Corallville to catch my Sunday morning flick. Hacksaw Ridge, the true World War II story directed by Mel Gibson will go down as one of the year's best. Believe me this movie is not for the fainthearted. It makes Leaving Private Ryan look pretty tame.

      You will love Pfc. Desmond Doss played by Andrew Garfield. He reminds you of another Anthony Perkins but with more appeal. It will leave you feeling very good about our fighting men and women. Did I say you will love this new young actor Andrew Garfield? 

SPECULATION WASTE OF TIME-BUT!

       Through the years, I have never been one to read or watch all the hype before a sporting event. Who cares if the quarterback has a hang-nail on his "pinkie!" During the Super Bowl the pre-game stuff goes on for hours. 

        The same can be said for this Election season. It just goes on and on. Polls, Polls, and more Polls. Then there is the Poll of Polls. But, to be honest for some reason I eat all this hype that is going on up! I love listening to all the yelling and screaming on the likes of CNN and MSNBC. Most of these are liking watching debates that have gotten way out of control.  

         Some are out right "cat fights" and it always is great when "your guy" gets the best of the commentator! Actually the final tally Tuesday night or into the wee hours could actually be a let-down either way. As far as I am concerned my life will go on either way and it won't affect my daily life to any great extent. As my mother used to say: "Somebody has to win and somebody has to lose!" 

CLEANING THAT GROVE!

       Along the lines of washing storm windows was cleaning the "grove." Just immediately to the north of our home was a grove of trees that was just north of our home and protected it from the severe winter winds. It was primarily mature soft maples. There was another grove further north about 100 hundred yards. It was mostly mature evergreens and maples. 

        The first or primary grove was the one that we raked and cleaned in the fall and sometimes in the spring. To make all this work worthwhile, my mother made sure we made a picnic of it at the conclusion. Making a big bonfire with one of the piles of limbs and twigs, we would roast hot-dogs. That was the best ever and what a treat. We didn't have a charcoal or gas grill back then. Who cared?

TIRED OF SAYING "IF I HAD MORE TIME!"

     
        The last few road trips that I have taken, it seems when I get back I am always saying "If I had or would have made more time"---I would have seen just a little more. When I get back home there is usually nothing that has made me return, necessarily,  on a certain schedule. 

        Well, time IS running out and my next trip this coming January will be extend beyond what I at first wanted to see. Don't get me wrong. I am some what limited by funds, but, a lot of it is just setting time limits and for no logical reason. Maybe, I'll get most of what I want to see and do in this country before I leave this planet. I'm going to give it my best shot.  That includes going to North Dakota. (Another story) The only one of three states I have never visited.    

AT ONE TIME COULD RATTLE OFF PRESIDENT'S!

       With the Presidential election only one day away, it reminded me of something I could do with some proficiency. When I was a younger man I could start at least with Franklin D. Roosevelt and recite all the Presidents right up to the present and I also could match the years they were elected and their length in office. Keep in mind that we added a view Presidents in the last 20 or 30 years since I could rattle them off!

       No, I couldn't name the vice-presidents , necessarily, or the middle names of them all and other trivia. But, now I have to write them all down and have to stop and think about if one or two were in for one or two terms. I am sure if given some kind of test on Presidents, I would do above average. One thing I was never good at was naming the Presidents by number. For some reason I never learned or it didn't sink in that, for example, Obama is the 44th President!

FALL AND WASHING WINDOWS!

         It was my job in the fall to wash windows. At what age this ritual started, I'm not sure. Only the lower windows were dealt with. Wood storms on in the fall, wood framed screens then stored back in the basement. In the Spring, the reverse. Mostly, vinegar and water and rags were used after being hosed off to eliminate cobwebs and dust. They were very heavy, but, I never remember breaking one window.

      Three things came out of fall window cleaning. One, to this day, Fall is my favorite season. Of course it was always a beautiful day when doing them. Two, I still enjoy doing windows and looking through a perfectly clean one and imagining that you're looking at a lovely scene without the window there. 

        Three, on those Saturdays, warm and crisp, set up on the west side of our house, I listened to the Iowa Hawkeyes on my blue portable radio. Life couldn't have been better. Just me and Jim Zable, the voice of the Hawkeyes, on WHO radio.

MORE CLEANING-THE BASEMENT & ATTIC!

     No wonder in later years I owned and operated a residential cleaning service. It seemed as a I was growing up in a huge old farm house, that was all we ever did was clean. I'm not sure if we did it twice a year, but, we did clean the basement and attic at least once a year.

       One thing I remember was going to nearby Laurel and purchasing a sweeping compound that had an red oily base to soak up the dust and dirt on the floors. We bought a lot of that stuff. I bet no one had a cleaner and as neat a basement and attic as we had in at least 3 counties! 

      Remember, a lot of basements were just dirt floors and not poured concrete like ours. It was also the complete size of the entire house. Same for the attic. It was nailed down wide wood plank flooring. As aside note from our attic we could see the Court House in Newton decorated at Christmas over 20 miles away. 

       There was a small attic on top of the main attic. I never remember going up there or why it was designed that way. I always wish I would have somehow as it would have been quite a view!

I DIDN'T NEED STINKIN' GPS!

       After I received an inquiry about doing some windows here in Williamsburg, I asked a couple of locals who have lived here in town all their lives. The street was East Washington and both individuals weren't sure. This town is only 3,000 in population and by all practical terms not that big. How could you not know any street and living here for ever?

        I did find it on my own. But, being a realtor for 15 years in Des Moines, Iowa, I prided myself in knowing pretty much every street not only in Des Moines, but, most of the nearby suburbs including Ankeny. I made it a point to know the evens and odds of addresses by which side of the street they were on. Also, if an address was 1200 35th, I could tell you what the nearest street was running the other direction.

        I didn't need any "stinkin" GPS devise. It was called using your old brain. I would bet that today many Realtors don't know their streets and just rely on their "tech" assistance! 

DECISIONS! DECISIONS! DECISIONS!

        Last night I drove over eat at the "Lucky 6 Lanes" bowling alley and restaurant on highway 6 outside Marengo, Iowa. I have talked about this place before. It is extremely clean, totally updated and great comfort food all the way around. 

       My intentions were to have either a tenderloin, which is out of sight, a hamburger which is just like your mother used to make in a caste iron skillet, or a fish in the basket, which someone had recommended. When I sat down at the counter, I looked over and posted was the "Special of the Day."-- A Hot Pork Sandwich with Mashed Potatoes and Gravy. Oh, No!

        I was not disappointed. That was the best Hot Pork or Beef, I had in a very long time. The gravy flavor was out of sight! Sometimes, you have hard decisions to make and you just have to make them!

A GOOD DRINKING MEMORY!

       A customer at the Burg Grocery this past week was talking about making a Brandy Alexander the after dinner ice-cream libation! That took me right to the days of the late 1960's and 1970's when there was a restaurant in Windsor Heights, Iowa called Gi-Gi's.

       It was located on University Avenue and back down a narrow walk-way to its entrance. It was owned by Lois and Howard Young at the time. The one reason you went there was not only the good food, but, was the magnificent and smooth ice-cream drink-"the Brandy Alexander! If I was ever to drink again, and I don't plan on it, that would be the treat that would take me there! 

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LOOKING AT LAZ-E BOY!

        When I was a very younger man, I always said that I would never get a Laz-E Boy type chair or lounge as it represented something that you got when you got older. All through the years, I either purchased a down filled straight chair with an ottoman or for years had a sectional and laid down while watching TV. 

        What has changed my thinking now is that I live in a small home and only have had room for a couch. It has been very uncomfortable and I just feel it is time to change. My next question is whether to buy a brand new chair or find one used to make sure that this is what I want to do before thinking of spending big money on a new one. 

        One thing I still don't do now that I am older is count out change from my plastic coin purse like old men do. I will never go to that extreme. When I start counting out those coins, I know the end is near!


  

"WHERE DID YOU GO EXCITING ON YOUR VACATION?

       One of the managers at the Burg Grocery got back from her vacation of last week. As always, I ask someone who has taken vacation time the same question. "Where did you go exciting on your vacation?"

         I don't ask it to be cute or funny, but, am always interested when people travel or engage in interesting events. It's just in my nature, I guess. The response was pretty much as I had expected. "Just stayed home!" 

       That response is usually the case and her answer was no big surprise. But, just once it would be a pleasant surprise to hear someone say the following: "We just got back from Egypt and took a mini-cruise down the Nile and visited the Great Pyramids on camel-back!" That may be a stretch, but, something along those lines would be better than going nowhere.  

STOMPED EGGS!

        While helping a lady out with her groceries yesterday, the conversation quickly pivoted from the weather to what we were having for supper. I mentioned that my choice for the evening was a breakfast type meal including toast a ham steal and some eggs "sunny side up."

       The lady's response to the eggs was that she and her husband preferred eggs that were cooked well done, hard, and then turned over and "stomped!" I started to laugh as I had never heard the stomped part. To each his/her own!

STILL CAN'T BEAT "THAT PLACE!"

         Last night I drove to Conrad and had dinner at That Place on the corner outside Conrad. It has been awhile since I had been there and living now in Williamsburg, it's a little out of the way. 
   
          I made sure I got there right at 5PM so that I could make it back home for the World Series at 7PM. There was no doubt that I was going to have Prime Rib as I still say it is the best for miles and miles around. Also, on the menu was Walleye. No problem! I had both. Or, should I say the Walleye on the`side. 

          Well, as everyone knows. the Cubs lost game four. That's why you never put all your eggs in one basket. I hedged my bet. I am very disappointed about the Cubs, but, oh that meal at That Place!

THE "CAVE" BY OUR HOUSE!

        I was never sure why we called the "Cave." It was located no more than 25 feet or so from the west side of our house on the farm where I grew up southeast of Laurel, Iowa. The story always was that at one time there had been a house situated at this location and at some point in time moved to Laurel. 

       The basement then was capped in a rounded form with a wood slanted utility door and steps descending down into the "cave." There was also an open hole on the top, I presume for venting, and a basement window like open area on the east side.

        Growing up, from time to time I would carry dirt and slowly attempt to cover the top and allow grass to grow. I never knew a time where, my parents used it for storage of any kind ie: for fruits or vegetables. Mainly, it was use`d during my younger years a place to play. It was my hide-out, head-quarters, whatever I wanted it to be. Maybe there just wasn't any other name to give it but the "Cave."






    

BEST CONCERT I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE W/ SISTER DORIS

      It was 1999 and my sister, Doris, had tickets to see the George Strait Tour concert at Jack Trice stadium at ISU in Ames, Iowa. It was a star studded all day concert with the likes of the Dixie Chicks and Kenny Chesney.

        She asked me to attend with her as someone she had asked couldn't go. At first I didn't realize it would be an all day affair. Let's be honest here. I am not a big Country music fan and when I found out it was an all day deal I had second thoughts. 

       On hind-sight and with regret, I talked Doris out of seeing two of the early afternoon acts. But then,  I thought that this was something that my big sister wanted to see and would enjoy, so suck it up Dennis and enjoy it with her.

       And, boy did I! First, it was a beautiful day and the seats were in the 5th row front and center. Doris ordered these tickets through ticket-master, Fargo, North Dakota, got right in and obtained these great seats. There were NASCAR race cars sitting around and lots of great food like corn on the cob!

       The short of it, I probably had more or at least as much fun as my sister. The funniest part was when George Strait was ready to perform, Doris wanted to leave to beat the traffic and, besides, she had seen him several times! The day proved that sometimes we end up enjoying something that we didn't want to do in the first place! 

           

"I HAVE BAGS!"

       A lady that was checking out at the Burg Grocery and informed me that she had bags to put her groceries in. Then she said something funny like--"I have these bags besides the ones under my eyes and bags in places on my body that I can't show you!" I thought it was funny and never had heard a customer say something like that! A regular Henny Youngman.  

WHAT HAPPENED TO TRICK IN TRICK & TREAT!

     I am not sure when it happened, but, hardly a kid anymore has a joke or "trick" when coming to the door. Even when a parent is along they just smile and giggle at their cuttie. If you asked if they have a trick they all look at you like you are on another planet. 

       If it is now really "Give me a treat and be quick about it," then maybe one should just turn a light on and sit the candy outside and let them help themselves! I know times have changed, but, this is one I am not going along with. 

       If you need a joke here is one of my favorites. "What is a pirates favorite socks?" ARRRRRGYLE!

DREAM-WHAT DO THEY MEAN?

       The night before last I had a dream where I was driving and all of a sudden I couldn't see due to what had to be fog. I was going extremely fast and for some reason couldn't get the car to slow down. No matter how hard I tried to apply the brakes, I just kept going fast and was noticing more road signs and buildings off to the side. So, I knew I was coming into a town, and also knew I was in big trouble, but, then suddenly I awoke! What if I wouldn't have? 

WORLD SERIES/I WIN BOTH WAYS-SORT OF!

     Don't get me wrong. I am with the Cubs all the way in the World Series. I really have been a fan of the Cubs since I attended the first night game at Wrigley back on August 9th, 1988.* I think at first I fell in love with Wrigley and the whole neighborhood that surrounds it more than the the actual Cubs.

       When I was a young boy back in the early 1950's, I was a big Cleveland Indians fan because of Bob Feller their ace pitcher and from Iowa. Rocky Colavito was the Indians big slugger in the 1950's into the 60's. Al Rosen was another standout that I remember as one of the first or few Jewish baseball players of the time and nick-named the "Hebrew Slammer!"

        But, make no mistake I will be very disappointed if the Cubs don't win the Series. However, if they don't win, a part of me will be happy for the Indians! As a famous American once said: (my mother) "Someone has to win and someone has to lose!"   

       

YOU KNOW WE HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF WHEN-----!

------just at our small Burg Grocery we have the following categories of PAM cooking spray: 1) Original  2) extra virgin olive oil  3) superior olive oil  4) butter  5) coconut oil  6) let's grill  7) baker's joy  8) baking with flour! That's just one brand. I am sure the larger chains have many more!  Is this a great country or what!!!

INFRASTRUCTURE/ GET OUT OF HERE!

      You hear from both major Presidential candidates that they will do so much about infrastructure to create jobs! It seems like no matter where I travel, interstate highways, state highways, or local roads , I am constantly confronted with construction and detours or at least slow downs. 

       Doesn't most of the money for much of infrastructure such as road repair come from gasoline tax. Maybe I am looking at things too locally. An area like Des Moines seems to be booming whether it is private or public construction. I guess I need more of an education from some source just how all this new construction is going to work and take place. I just hope this isn't more of Washington's way of building more bridges to nowhere!

ON A BEAUTIFUL FALL DAY/HAD TO GET OUTSIDE!

     This afternoon I just get outside since it was such a beautiful fall day. I decided to check out any local river walks. I found one that sounded like something worth visiting.

       It was fairly close to home right in Corallville, Iowa. I visited the Iowa River Landing Wetland Park. It comprises of a two acre pond and five acre wetland area connected with an elevated walk-way. I had never seen anything like it before. 

       It was a great way to spend a couple of hours on a beautiful Iowa autumn afternoon! It's the same old story. I might remember this day with nature more so than a pro football game cooped up indoors!


      

I MAY BE LOSING IT!

      Like most everyone, I am a creature of habit, especially in the early morning routine. I get up and take care of my kitty, start the coffee, brush my teeth, shave, go for my power walk and, well, you get the picture. 

       Yesterday I was eating my breakfast and realized I had not shaved yet. I don't think I ever remember not shaving before I had breakfast. For some reason I decided to clean the bathroom  sink right then and I guess I distracted myself. I don't consider it a big deal if I forget to pick up something at the grocery store, even with a list, but, not shaving? I will be watching this over-sight closely! 

ANCHOVIES/TOO MUCH OF A GAMBLE FOR ME!

       Speaking of the "grain futures" market, it reminded me of a funny story related to all this when I was still in college. Because of family interest in farming at the time, I  hypothetically played the soybean futures for a time just to see how I would do. 

        At a particular time, I had figured the soybean market should have gone UP for whatever logic I had used at the time. I do remember reading in the newspaper at the time that the soybean market went DOWN due to a world event. The event was something I would have never thought of.  The ANCHOVY catch was quit large at the time off the Chilean coast of South America. The oil from anchovies was a competitor of soybean oil. 

         I gave up my game. My thinking was if I had to tie in anchovies and what was happening that far away, it wasn't something I should get myself involved with!  

THE BOYS FROM VEGAS CAME BACK W/ HIM!

     Because it's harvest time, I hear a lot of stories relating to such at work. It brought to memory a story I remember from the 1970's and involved a auto dealer in Ankeny, Iowa at the time and his involvement in "playing" the grain futures market. 

       As the story went he lost a considerable amount of money on the "futures" and then decided to go to Las Vegas to make back the money he lost on playing grain futures. That didn't work out either. The story went on that some "boys" came back with him from Vegas. 

      In the whole process he lost his dealership and his wife also divorced him. Sometimes it is best to stick to what you seem to know or do best!

WHERE'S WAUBEEK IA-IT'S BY WHERE?

      This past week at the Burg Grocery some one brought up something that happened at a town in Iowa called Waubeek. I asked where it was as I had never heard of it. The response was that it was near Central City which I had heard of, but, still was not sure where it was located. 

       It reminded me of my mother from time to time when bringing up someone she knew many years ago around Laurel.  She would mention a name of someone who lived X miles west of Laurel. I wouldn't know who she was talking about because she was going back to the 1930's or so. Usually, she would have to keep coming up to a time when I knew the current people and then I could pin-point where her story was originating. 

       Now I sometimes go through the same thing similar with my sister, Doris, but only because` she might be talking about someone that I never knew since I haven't lived in the Laurel area for a long long time. Besides, she knows more people than the average bear!  

THE STREAKER @ KINNICK!

      At the Hawkeye-Badger game yesterday, they were honoring Randy Duncan who past away recently and was an outstanding quarterback at Iowa in the late 1950's. A nearby fan brought some other football memory from times past and it reminded me of my favorite non-football memory at a Hawkeye game at Kinnick.

       It was in the mid 1970's and at a time when "Streaking" was popular around the country. (running down a street or place without clothing) I was sitting at this particular Hawkeye  game on the east side next to a very nice elderly lady. All of a sudden this young guy came running on to the football field from the northwest corner. 

       All he was wearing was a baseball hat, waving an American flag, and wearing tennis shoes and nothing else. He made it almost to the southwest corner of the field before being caught and tackled by security people. It happened very quickly and the lady next to me leaned over and asked me if the guy had any clothing on? No was my reply. I never knew whether she didn't see it real well or couldn't believe what she did see? A blown up photo was displayed for years at the "Field House" dance club and bar downtown Iowa City. Could still be down there somewhere for all I know!  

        

THE LAST TIME WHEN CUBS WERE IN WORLD SERIES!

I WASN'T EVEN ONE YEAR OLD! I'M 72 AND BORN 1/27/1944. YOU FIGURE IT OUT!

BRANDON'S JOKE OF THE WEEK!

"What's a cats favorite color?" PURRRRPLE!

REGAINED MY FAITH IN TAYLOR'S MAID-RITE!!

     Last week while in Marshalltown I had my usual one with everything (not ketsup) at Taylor's. Something was wrong! It wasn't really bad but it wasn't really good either! Maybe this was the end of good Maid-Rites as I once knew them. Oh, No!

      I stopped in today and the all is right in my little world. My sandwich was a perfect TEN. The more of it I had the better it was. For a while there last week I thought the end was in sight!

HITTING DEER LEAST OF MY PROBLEMS!

      Today while in Marshalltown and on South Center Street I pulled up beside a young lady at a stop light near the Mall. I looked over and she had a small dog of some type on her lap and she was also texting. Are people nuts! Here I am worried about hitting a deer at night or possibly a drunk driver. I think my odds are worse being hit in broad day light by this idiot!

"THE YEAR WAS 1976!"

            Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't be working at the Burg Grocery where I would be getting ideas for a lot of my stories. This one is a good example. Someone checked out recently and her amount of purchase was $19.76. It made me think of the year 1976.

             It was a sad and good year all at the same time. That year I was divorced, but, at the same time I had come out of the effects of the divorce and by later in that year had purchased a new home with a mutual friend and my bachelor life for the next four years was off and running!   
   

I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT-POLKA MUSIC!

       It was the 30th of Septmber, a Friday night in Amana, Iowa. Along with my cousin, Dianne Davis, we had just finished dinner at the Oxyoke Inn and had walked across the street to look around at the General Store. Did I mention it was the first night of the Octoberfest Celebration. 

       As we were strolling around the store, they were playing some really upbeat Polka Music. I never really cared for Polka as I have always been an old R & R guy when it comes to dancing. But, for some reason the music being played really made me want to Polka without even knowing how to dance it!

        The other day, to my surprise, Dianne sent me a couple of Polka CD's. My favorite so far is one entitled :"Who stole the Kishka!" I hope my new musical revelation is not just because of my age, but, rather a new discovery to being hip!  
       

ON STILTS! NO! HE WAS OVER SEVEN FT!

        I was up town on Sunday morning cleaning some of the store windows in the Burg. A couple of young ladys approached me about cleaning theirs as they were in the process of opening a new craft and antique shop. 

      When I was finishing, I went inside and noticed a fellow that I thought was on stilts like you encounter with dry walling. I took a second look and realized he was not on stilts. No! He was right up there without any assistance. Of course I had to ask him. How else would there be any story. The reply--7 foot 2."   

LET'S GET WRITING!

      From time to time I like to come out and attempt to encourage people to write or at least set up a blog, use Facebook, or write the old fashion way personal and family related short stories. 

       Someone asked me a while back if I had written my "memoirs!" No was my reply, but, I have written over a thousand personal and family related short stories over that last ten years. If I don't get around to a memoir I am OK with it. 

       I say to anyone who is reading this to get started. Just writing a few of your most important memories for future generations to enjoy will be worth the effort. Wouldn't you love to be able to read a few stories of family written encounters from a century ago. Give it a try. You can do it. Don't think about eating that big elephant. Just take a small bite at a time!

YOU CAN'T MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY!

        Years ago when I established my residential cleaning business in Marshalltown, I felt that I had to make everyone happy because of such a small community. If I didn't try to make all my customers happy, then it would get around and I would go out of business. Well, I didn't make everyone happy all the time and I didn't go out of business. Actually it grew substantially over time.

        If you make everyone happy all the time, this would include your husband or significant, then maybe you have no mind of your own. I was up to Taylor's Maid-Rite this past week and my sandwich just was not up to par. There has been times through the years when my Maid-Rite was not the best, but, overall I still go back and look forward to my next one. 

       At the Burg Grocery, I do my best each day to be courteous to all the customers with a "Good Morning" and to fellow employees. If while helping out a customer and am engaged in a little conversation, I try to leave them with a smile, chuckle, or laughter.

       But, a few weeks ago it didn't work. One local gentleman that I helped out mentioned how "dry" it was. I replied that "he must not be from around here" as it had been one of those periods with lots of rain. About an hour later he came back to the store and confronted me. He was upset that I had made fun of him with my remark and proceeded to lecture me about being in public service, etc. 

      I apologized and informed that I had no intention of showing any dis-respect and that was just my sense of humor and that some people didn't get my ways. It was my first time in five years of working at Burg Grocery that a customer expressed displeasure directly back to me. Again, you can't make all the people happy, but, I guess we have to keep trying! 

MEETING A REAL BIG TIME DRUG DEALER!

     Telling the story about "Right under the cops noses" reminds me of another. This involves a time back in the early 1980's when I stood up for a good friend in Las Vegas at his wedding.

      The friend of mine who lived in Los Angeles at the time also had a friend of his who was actually an allegedly drug dealer and was there for the wedding. They made it no secret what he did, but, talked a lot about doing everything in cash including paying for hotel rooms, buying cars, etc. Other words, no paper trail. I never knew how "big Time" this guy was, but, didn't seem too frightening in any way. 

         Looking back, I am glad that this was as close I would probably get to someone with this type of reputation.  Although now that I enjoy writing, it would have been "kinda" neat to have gotten a little closer and getting into a few more "details!"  I have always been a sucker for mob stuff and all that! 
      

NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE-EVER!

     Yesterday, the nicest elderly lady and her adult daughter was checking out at the Burg Grocery. The checker mentioned something about the older lady's hands which were obviously stained a dark brown. She had been "shelling walnuts" and hadn't used any gloves for this endeavor! I have known people who have talked about harvesting walnuts, but, not having witnessed hands with this dis-coloration. I think I would rather just buy a bag at the grocery store. It was kind of neat to see! I know I have been somewhat sheltered! 

SEEING IS NOT ALWAYS BELIEVING!

      Recently I helped this couple out with their groceries who were dressed "to perfection!" He wore everything from head to toe very hip including an Iowa Hawkeye shirt and she dressed in the same line. A regular Mr. & Mrs. Designer Couple of 2016.

      When we got to their late model Mercedes and opened the rear door I was shocked. It was an absolute disaster.  All types of stuff thatt obviously been laying on the seat and floors for some time. You never know!  
       

A PLEASANT STAY WITH TRACY & GLENDA MIILLER!

       On the last leg on my scenic journey into Arkansas and Oklahoma, I headed north from Talihina, Oklahoma on the edge of the Quachita National Forest. My destination that Wednesday, (10/5/2016) would be to Tracy and Glenda Miiller in Grove, Oklahoma. 

       The drive was a little tricky in that there was no one highway to take me straight there. And, you can criticize me for not having GPS in any manner. Anyway, somewhere I got off my route and the next thing I knew I saw a sign welcoming me to Missouri. It is only a few miles to Grove from Missouri but still. I finally arrived and thankfully Glenda met me at a convenience store and led me to their home.  

       It was a good thing as their home is on Grand Lake and we did a lot of jigging and jagging to get there. It was worth the detours on my part. Their home is absolutely beautiful and with a spectacular view of the lake. Tracy prepared a rack of outstanding smoked ribs and Glenda prepared some green fried tomatoes a southern specialty. I don't believe it was necessarily on my account, but, Amana potato salad was also had. 

        To top off a memorable visit, we had breakfast at one of their favorite local Ma & Pa cafe's for a tasty breakfast. I appreciate their warm hospitality. It is always special to spend quality time with long time friends and Laurel 1962 classmate, if only briefly!

I FEEL SUNNY ON A CLOUDY DAY

     A lady this past week at the Burg grocery looked up and made a comment about "I feel sunny on a cloudy day!" There was the old Temptation's 1985 hit "I've got sunshine on a cloudy day!" I guess my point is one can see how songs get written or thought up!

         One of my favorite music trivia stories was the one about the song  recorded originally by Tommy James and the Shondells  in 1968 called MONY MONY! The story goes that whomever had written the song was inspired by walking down a street in New York City and looking up at a sign that was advertising Mutual Of New York. MONY! The rest is musical history!

      Maybe I should write a song about "I feel sunny on a cloudy day!"

A DAY OF TOTAL PLEASURE!

      Here it is 7AM and I can't wait for this day to get started. This noon I am going to meet good friends, Jerry and Judy Roberts, at Goldie's in Prairie City for lunch. I can taste that golden brown tenderloin already. The Iowa Hawkeyes are playing Purdue at 11AM.

       From Goldie's and on my drive back to the Burg, I intend to drive down by Red Rock Lake and possibly see some fall color. From there I will head to Pella and Jaarsma Bakery. To me this is the best bakery and pastry shop on the planet!

        Then, this evening my Cubs play the Dodgers in game one at Wrigley for the National League title. If I am the little bit hungry, I'll have a  sandwich during the game from the meat loaf I made last night with most scrumptious Heinz 57 and brown sugar glaze. Possibly, the best I have ever made. Come on Saturday! (10/15/2016)  

RIGHT UNDER THE COPS NOSES!

      Back in the 1980's, there was a guy, named Louie S., who operated a book making operation, poker games, and other illegal activities. He was renting a home at the time right on the southwest corner of Ashworth and 35th street in West Des Moines. The Police Station was just across the street on the northwest corner. Activities went on there for over a year or two and everyone in WDM knew about it but the cops. 

      A friend of mine even tried to live there while going through a divorce. He indicated it was just "too noisy!" The cops finally busted the operation and he went away to some federal penitentiary in Minnesota. I will never forget that before they nailed him he was able to stash his Corvette with a lady who owned a town-home just two doors from me in WDM. It did create a little excitement for a time!
   

        

WHAT'S IN A NAME/ BILLIE JO WHO?

   Somebody today mentioned some local person with a name similar to Billie Jo Von Ashen. Of course the name struck me funny. I am not sure this would qualify as an oxymoron, but, it didn't seem to fit. You normally think of the first name going with maybe McCoy or a Hatfield. The last name belongs with a first name like Mercedes of the Boston Von Ashen's. Just got a chuckle out of this!

GRANDPA THAT'S NOT CHICKEN!

       A lady at the Burg Grocery was having difficulty deciding what to get for some grand-kids who were visiting. There were so many things that they didn't like. Sound familiar?

       It reminded me of the time I took my youngest grandson, Grant Laverty, to Haley's Deli at the time to get some, in my estimation, the best chicken in Marshalltown. When we were ready to decide what we wanted as we looked down at the glass enclosure, I told Grant to pick out what kind of chicken he wanted. His reply was that that was not chicken. 

      After a bit of arguing and threatening to not go swimming, he did pick out something very reluctantly. What he thought of chicken was something like "chicken fingers" from the likes of Mickey D's. Times are different. When I was a kid I guess we ate was in front of us and were happy. We didn't have all these other choices available or everything flashed in front of kids on TV.

JERRY ROBERTS-ONLY A GOOD FRIEND DOES THIS!!

       When I was on my way back to Iowa from my over-nite visit with my old classmate Tracy Miiller and his wife Glenda, I called Jerry Roberts to let him know I had something to bring him from Tracy. It was an old photo of the Laurel basketball team during our junior year of 1960-61.

       At first I told Jerry I would just drop it off and quickly be on my way as I still had to drive to Williamsburg from Jerry's home in Urbandale. He called me back and told me if I would let him know when I was getting close to Des Moines, he would go get some Tasty Taco's for us to eat when I arrived. He knows that's my favorite food item, bar none, from the days when I lived in Des Moines. How could I turn down such an offer. That's a friend!!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN--!

    "--no one else you run into has memories that go back further than you can remember !"

MY SCENIC DRIVE DESTINATION-SURREAL!

       I arrived at the start of my journey across the Talimena Scenic Byway in the Quachita National Forest late morning on Wednesday, October 5th.  The start was in Mena, Arkansas and would end approximately 60 miles later in Talihina, Oklahoma. 

         Even though the mountains in this area only rise to 2,500,  the views from this height are spectacular. Waiting just another two weeks or so the color would have been spectacular I'm sure. I never really never knew that there were mountains as such in this area west of Hot Springs, Arkansas. They are the highest range between the Rockies and the Appalachians. What made this trip special was traveling in an area having never been or seen before. 

      Once on the Byway that spans the mountain peaks, I encountered fog or low lying clouds almost immediately. However, the wind picked up and the moisture, clouds, or fog at different stages keep coming at me like something out of a horror movie. And, not passing another vehicle for stretches of miles, it added to the atmosphere and beauty in a surreal way! 

        It wasn't until I reached the Oklahoma state line that the clouds cleared and with a gorgeous sunshine the views at several scenic points were spectacular! Also, within the drive I drove through the Queen Wilhelmina State Park. If you have never driven through this part of the USA put it on your list even if it on the way to somewhere else.

        

YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN

      
----when people no longer say to you "Oh you're still young. Wait till you get to be my age!" I guess I'm there!

KID'S SAY THE DARNEST THINGS!

       Yesterday at the Burg Grocery a "Grandma" was checking out with her two very young grandchildren. The young boy, who couldn't have been more than three or so, looked up at me and said; "Are you a really old Grandpa?" Yup! That's what I am all right! Maybe not by design, but, I have been called much much worse. I did love it! It made me laugh!

MY TWO FAVORITE SAYINGS OF THE DAY!

1.  If you start something you better be able to finish it.

2. If you can't take the heat then get out of the kitchen.

TO ALAN LAVERTY- FROM BOB DYLAN

       The following song written, sung by Bob Dylan and released around 1997 has always been one of my favorite later recordings of Dylan. It is sad, but, makes me think of Alan only in good ways-Dennis Laverty-cousin 

IT'S NOT DARK YET, BUT IT'S GETTING THERE

Shadows are falling and I been here all day

It's too hot to sleep and time is running away

Feel like my soul has turned into steel

I've still got the scars that the sun didn't let me heal

There's not even room enough to be anywhere

It's not dark yet. but it's getting there

Well my sense of humanity is going down the drain

Behind every beautiful thing, there's been some kind of  pain

She wrote me a letter and she wrote it so kind 

She put down in writin' what was in her mind

I just don't see why I should even care

It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

Well I been to London and I been to gay Paree

I followed the river and I got to the sea

I've been down to the bottom of a whirlpool of lies

I ain't lookin' in anyone's eyes

Sometimes my burden is more than I can bear

It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

I was born here and I'll die here, against my will

I know it looks like I'm movin' but I'm standin' still

Every nerve in my body is so naked and numb

I can't remember what it was I came here to get away from

Don't even hear the murmur of a prayer

It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

                                                                                                        Bob Dylan

AMERICA'S WORST I HOP!!

      Leaving Williamsburg around 7:30 AM on Tuesday October 4th, I had made it to just north of Kansas City around noon time and of course was getting a little hungry. When traveling anything goes. It's a matter of what sounds good at the moment. However, before starting out I had eaten just a raspberry turnover from Casey's that I have on an occasion. 

       When traveling, I always seem to crave breakfast type meals. Today was no exception. Somewhere around Liberty I spotted an I HOP sign at the next exit and that was all it took.
It was somewhat difficult to find, but, once there headed in and waited for the hostess. The bad sign was that I was only one of a few customers in the place. It was noon and I had a bad feeling. Most I HOP places I had been in are usually packed.

       The hostess actually took my order and after a fairly long wait a waitress brought my order and handed to me and quickly left. She also was barely audible. She was never to be seen again. The food was average and that was end of the story. It could only go uphill from here and it did! 

       

HIS NAME WAS JONES-ED JONES!

      Wednesday morning, October 5th, I was driving through Mansfield, Arkansas, just on the edge of the Quachita National Forest and Blue Quachita Mountains. As I was heading down the main street,g  I spotted a sign that read--"JOYCE'S DINER!" There were lots of cars out front and I knew this was the place for breakfast. I walked in and it appeared to be occupied by mostly locals. 

       One older gentleman acknowledged me and made a reference to my Iowa plates. His name was Ed Jones and I'm sure he had been there for a while and maybe on his third or fourth cup of coffee. I told him where I was headed and mentioned the last leg of my trip included stopping in Grove, Oklahoma and visiting an old classmate.

       To my surprise,he indicated that he grew up in Grove and the family farm was eliminated when they erected Grand Lake  near Grove. Plus, somehow we talked about North Dakota which I hope to travel to next spring. He had relatives in western North Dakota and goes up there about twice a year. It really is a small world and full of lots of interesting people! Oh! By the way-the breakfast was as advertised!

A $45 MOTEL ROOM THIS NICE!

     Tuesday morning, October 4th, 2016, I headed out from Williamsburg and on my way to the Quachita National Forest in western Arkansas and the Talimena Scenic Byway. My first night I arrived and stayed in Fort Smith, Arkansas. As I was really tired from the long drive and especially going through the Bella Vista and Fayetville stretch, I didn't feel like spending much time looking for lodging.

       Getting  off the main exit in Fort Smith I stopped at the very first motel on my side of the street. It was a Motel 6 and I almost passed because they don't have the best  of reputations. After looking at the room first, I was really impressed. It had been totally remodeled through-out, very clean,  and was on the first floor right by the office. The base price was only $45.00. Never in my adult travels, at least in the last 3 decades, have I ever stayed in a motel that cheap. 

       How times have changed. I do remember back in the late 1970's staying at a Holiday Inn in Denver, Colorado when I paid $50 for a room with my kids while on our way west for snow skiing. At the time I thought that was outrageous. Off season traveling has its perks!