HOW BIG IS IT?

        Did you know that the island of Cuba is over 700 miles long and over 50 miles wide? I have been on Jamaica and always thought it was pretty big at over 135 miles long.  The island of Mauii in Hawaii is only 40 miles at its longest. Cuba is the biggest island in the Caribbean. 

I WON'T BACK DOWN! WORDS TO LIVE BY!

A song that I have always loved by Tom Petty & The Heart-breakers is also one to live by! 

Well, I won't back down

No, I won't back down

You can stand me up @ the gates of hell

But, I won't back down.

No, I'll stand my ground

Won't be turned around

And, I'll keep this world 

from draggin' me down

Gonna stand my ground.

BIG TIME CRIME-ALMOST -IN THE BURG!

      Wednesday morning a customer came back in to the Burg Grocery and announced that his car had been stolen out of the parking lot! The high-school clerk behind the courtesy counter grabbed the phone book and started looking for the telephone number of the police department. I casually mentioned to him that this probably qualified for 911! Dah! 

      In the meantime, the customer had already called 911 and the police were on their way. Being a carry-out guy, I was able to go outside and keep abreast of what was happening. Evidently, two cars were parked right beside each other that were the same make, year and color. 

        The police did come and knew that the "other" car was owned by someone locally and that maybe there as just a mix-up. In addition, both cars were new enough and did not require keys to start them. After a long wait,a young lady brought the "taken car" back. 

       She was a grand-daughter of the owner and was back visiting from college. Somehow the grand-parents or who knows figured it out that it was not their car! But, what were the odds of that happening-two cars parked side by side with the same color, same year, same make and model? It did provide a little excitement for this "Mayberry" for a moment!

  

    
        

JERRY ROBERTS-"WON'T DO WHAT!"

        While we were having dinner on Thanksgiving day at the Hy-Vee they were playing some Bee Gee's overhead. It reminded Jerry of a very funny story at least for me. He was having a very hard time locating a CD of the "Best of the Bee Gee's." A friend finally found one through Amazon and got it for Jerry. 

       Jerry was all excited about listening to it and was ready to listen to it in his new Chevrolet Silverado deluxe pick-up. To his amazement his pick-up didn't have a CD player! The dealership gave him some reason why, but! Just listening to Jerry tell the story in his slow "good ol' boy" way, I couldn't stop laughing for a spell. Maybe it would have been even funnier if it would have been a Cadlilac! 

THANKSGIVING WITH FRIEND OR TWO!

        This Thanksgiving Holiday worked out really well for my old class-mate, Jerry Roberts, and myself. His wife, Judy, traveled to Puerto Rico, with their daughter to see their grand-son play in a college basketball tournament. 

         I traveled to Urbandale and stayed the night and Thanksgiving day. We dined Wednesday evening at one of both our favorite restaurants-The Waterfront in West Des Moines, Iowa. It was kind of nice looking forward to a bowl of the best oyster stew around and a little "Trout Amandine" rather than turkey.

        On Thanksgiving we drove to Norwalk and spent some time with another old Laurel school classmate, Bob Baker. It is always special getting together with these guys as we went all the way through school -kindergarten to high school graduation in 1962.

       For our noon dinner, Jerry and I just stopped off at the cafe in the Hy-Vee store on 35th street in West DesMoines. We both enjoyed a delicious buffet meal complete with a great slice of pie. We had tried one restaurant that was open, but, had over an hour wait. The important thing was just enjoying the time with a good friend!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BIG SISTER DORIS!

Although we don't tell one another with words,

It is never to late to tell her on this special ocassion 

how much I love her and all she has meant to me!

QUALITY TIME W/ KIDS--HA!

       After listening to someone discuss "quality time" with their kids, it reminded me of my own thoughts and feelings of those first time divorce years when my kids were very young. You never wanted to say something to me about---"At least you get to have quality time with your kids!"

        Just spending time with your kids on a week-end or over-nite basis without any controversy is not what it is all about. What made those times special was when you could be there when a child got sick or falling down with an injury and comforting them. Don't get me wrong those week-ends were special, but, it wasn't experiencing all what it means to be a parent! 

THEY BOUGHT HOW MANY CASES OF BUTTER?

       Yesterday, at the Burg Grocery, a couple came in and inquired about purchasing "four" cases of butter. I repeat four! The guy was a large man and appeared to have a weight issue and possibly cholesterol issues and who knows what else. All speculation, of course, on my part. 

       We had a sale on a certain brand of butter which cut the price from a $4 range down to approx. $2.00. A significant savings for sure.  And, I know what you are all saying. But Dennis, " It can be frozen." And, in one sense I was not surprised as this is a community with a lot of old frugal "German" farmers. 

         It was still funny to me. Watching this big guy check out a couple` of cases of butter and his wife right behind with two more. It doesn't take much to entertain me as you have gotten to know! That's still a lot of butter!

CAREFUL WHO YOU GIVE THE BIRD!

        This past week, a local good Samaritan was following someone in their car that had, by accounts, had left a purse or at least some personal item on top of the car. The person being followed became annoyed at being trailed and flipped, the the person following, the "bird."

         It reminded me of many years ago when at a stop light in Clive, Iowa the person ahead of me in a car was bent over and hidden from view. After a bit I honked and the person sat right up and immediately threw me the middle finger. It turned out she was a waitress at a local bar I was headed to. That was an embarrassing moment especially for her. The lesson is always be careful who you flip off!     

"WHEN YOU CARE ENOUGH TO SEND THE VERY BEST!"

       Through the years I was always impressed with the slogan of the Hallmark card company of Kansas City, Missouri. Whether it was at a Holiday or a birthday, I always attempted to go to an outlet that sold the Hallmark name and took the time to read several different cards until I picked the one that had the message that conveyed my feelings.

        Even as the price of a card went up as did the cost of a stamp, my contention was that the person I was directing it to was worth it! I know that sending out an old fashion greeting card has lost favor over the last few years. Lots of family and friends are making their own via computer and so on. Many will simply throw a greeting out on social media such as Facebook. 

        I have been absent from sending an old fashion card to many friends and family for many past years. Not this year. The card I am sending may not be a "Hallmark" but, it conveys my message and yes, to those very close such as my sisters, they will receive a card directed to them personally. I probably shouldn't afford it like a lot of retirees, but, you are worth it!  Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

BRANDON'S JOKE OF THE WEEK!

      "What do you get when you cross an ice cube and a baby chicken?"  A SLICK CHICK!

AS GENERAL GEORGE PATTON ONCE SAID--

      I couldn't help but think during the last night of the Presidential Election, a line from the movie "Patton." The general was observing through his binoculars the defeat of the German's  General  Rommel in North Africa during World War II. 

       As Rommel's tanks were sitting there in ruin, Patton announced something like---"Rommel, you beautiful S.O.B., I read your book!" Don't ask me why I thought of that line while watching the election results,I just did!

FORGETFUL- LEAVING SHOES ON TOP OF CAR!

       We have all been forgetful from time to time. Forgetfulness does not have a direct correlation to age. One of my most memorable happened when I was still very young in my early 20's!

       At this particular time, we had friends who lived in Omaha, Nebraska and we headed there to visit for the week-end. At the time, my wife, Sandi, and daughter, La Risa, lived in an apartment at 7706 Dennis Drive in Urbandale, Iowa. 

        While packing the car, which was parked out front, I placed a pair of dress shoes on the top of the vehicle for who knows why? Somehow we drove off with those shoes still on top and no one noticing. They fell off and our mailman found them laying on the ground and kept them until our return.

        The only thing that was somewhat embarrassing was that going out  one evening  to eat at a "fancy" restaurant, I had to wear a pair of casual shoes with my sports coat and tie. I made sure that I kept my shoes well hidden under the table. Belie`ve me these were different times in dress code, etc. All ended well for a memorable, forgetful, and somewhat embarrassing time.

PIZZA FOR THANKSGIVING?!?!

        A lady that I had just helped with her groceries was talking to a lady she knew in the adjacent vehicle about family returning home for Thanksgiving. The lady I had helped mentioned that much of her family was leaving on Tuesday and traveling a long distance and also picking up additional family in Nebraska.

         In a very short period of time she explained about all these people coming to her home for the Holiday! In concluding her story she mentioned that she would be taking them all out for PIZZA! I started to laugh! I responded by saying something like--"Your taking them out for pizza on Thanksgiving?" She indicated that she no longer cooks for big gatherings. Times have changed for some! For what it is worth I know one family that has lasagna for Christmas!

NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED-WELL OK MAYBE--!

       While helping out a lady with her groceries this past week, somehow the topic got around to politics. Surprise! Surprise! She mentioned that-- "Old white men were just not ready to elect a woman!"

         I just smiled and gave her my usual "Thank You!" and went back in the store. Make no mistake, I was no Hillary Clinton fan, but, this old white man could have voted for a woman. Just not this woman. Besides, even though I was not in love with the messenger- Donald Trump, it was time for a big change in the way things were getting done, or not done, in Washington.

        I always think of Margaret Thatcher who was Prime Minister during the 1980's. Now she was my type of woman to lead a country-strong! Maybe there are some "old white guys" that can't handle a woman as President of this country, but, not this guy! 

        
       

PERSONAL TAILGATING-A REMEDY!

       The other day someone mentioned that someone had been walking too close behind them and made the uncomfortable. That has happened to me on occasion, especially walking into a grocery store. Here is a couple of things I have done when confronted with such an incident.

       One thing I have done when someone is walking behind too closely is just to abruptly stop and then give that person a hard stare! Another method is to quickly step aside and use a hand gesture to wave them on. Other-words, if you are in such a big hurry, be my guest, and move on! 

NOW I KNOW I'M OLD!

        It came yesterday afternoon around 4:30 PM. I finally gave in and purchased a Laz-E-Boy recliner. For a number of years and at least since living here in Williamsburg, I have tried to make a small inexpensive couch due for the thing I used to watch TV and nap. 

        Prior to that and living in Marshalltown, I had a fairly large sectional that suited me just great and was a great hub for grand-kids and those visiting. By down-sizing into a smaller home` and living room, I no longer had that luxury. I was always like Dagwood Bumsted and was comfortable napping on the couch.

        We'll see how this works out. Last night I sat very comfortably in my new chair for at least an hour before getting a little edgy. I guess if I really want to take a nap I can always go to my bedroom and really get some` good Z'zzzzz! I always said when I was a younger man that when you got a Laz-E-Boy you were finally considered old. Welcome Dennis!

I WON THE TRIFECTA-WOW!!!

      At least I got your attention. #1 My Chicago Cubs finally won the World Series against the Cleveland Indians in game 7 by the score of 8-7 on November 2, 2016.  #2. Donald Trump won the Presidential election on November 8, 2016, as an underdog against Hillary Clinton. #3 The Iowa Hawkeyes beat the Michigan Wolverines on November 12, 2016, with a  last second field goal. The Hawks were a big underdog being un-ranked and Michigan being ranked #3 in nation. 

OLD SAYING TO KEEP AN EYE ON!

      "Watch what the poor people do then don't do it!"

DON'T SHUFFLE-PICK EM' UP!

      One thing that disturbs me about getting older is the following. When I travel any distance, it takes me about a dozen steps, when getting out of the car, to straighten up and be able to walk with some normalcy. At this rate in another five years it will take meat twenty steps. 

       When sitting on my couch, I usually pull myself up by putting my toes under a low ledge on my coffee table. Of course, I have to go Ugh! That makes it official.  You know you are getting old when as you are getting up you go Ugh!
  
  
       As my mother got older and did a little shuffling with her walk, I would tell her she needed to pretend she was marching in a band and try to lift those feet high. Or, act as she was a beauty pageant contestant and put that foot up and in front of the next! Mind over matter! It seems to be getting harder to make my mind stay on top of the "matter!" 

LOSING MY COMB-DROVE ME NUTS!

      A lady came back into the Burg Grocery yesterday and couldn't remember what she had done with her cell phone. After checking around the store, and her car, she went home and evidently found it in her home somewhere. 

       I remember going through a period when I was much, much younger, that it seemed I was always losing my comb that I carried around in my hip pocket. Even though losing the cheap plastic thing was not a big deal, it was the principle of the thing. Sometimes, I found myself looking in places that made no sense and even in coat pockets that I hadn't worn for months. It would drive me nuts!

        I used to worry then that as I got older my memory would get worse and I would really be in trouble with losing things. First, I don't carry a comb anymore and I actually have become better at putting things in THEIR place when at home. Second, when I was much younger I got into the habit of making lists--- Daily To Do  list, Grocery list and my Writing List. Keeping a To Do list and keeping it ongoing has always worked well for me. Whether in business or personal as you think of something just add it to the list. It is written down and you won't forget it. If you don't get around to doing it today it will  be there tomorrow. 

       After my cell phone slipped out of my pocket, fell under my seat at a movie theater and had to fetch an employee` with a flash-light, I think through where stuff is in my various pockets before doing something like that again. As we get older, we just need to figure out ways to beat Mother Nature!  

BRANDON'S JOKE OF THE WEEK!

       A guy is walking down the street carrying this mantle style grandfather clock. A drunk comes out of a bar and runs into the guy with the clock and breaks it. As the guy was getting up off the sidewalk, the drunk said: :If you would wear a watch like everybody else this wouldn't have happened!"

EVER BEEN THROUGH THE TWILIGHT ZONE?- I HAVE!

       Someone at the Burg Grocery yesterday was telling about her brother's birthday coming up but couldn't remember how old he was going to be. Yep! Back I went!

        I was 46 years old back in 19??? and my birthday was coming up shortly. For some reason when I woke up one morning prior, I thought, for some reason, that I was going to be 48. I sort of panicked for a minute. I really thought I was going to be 48 and was stewing about had happened to that one year. Was I really going to be that old? I quick did the math and starting breathing again. 

       The other situation was when I stopped into the Tama State Bank in the late 1990's in Marshalltown, Iowa. As I was making out a deposit slip, I wrote the date as "1974!" To this day I don't know why I did that. It is not worth hiring a Shrink! I suppose if those are the worst situations that can happen to me over three score and ten, then I'm lucky! 
      

A POLITICAL SAYING WORTH REMEMBERING!

"Those who know aren't talking and 

those who talk don't know!"

YOU CAN APPRECIATE THE ORIGINAL TEA PARTY!

YOU MAY NOT HAVE LIKED THE MESSENGER BUT---!

THE MESSAGE WAS LOUD AND CLEAR!!

HERE COMES A BIG FIRST!

      It was pointed out last night during the late Presidential coverage was that not since 1928 will we have had a Republican President and an all Republican Congress!

SINGING CUM BYE YA-- ALL THAT'S LEFT!

       The likes of Hillary Clinton reminds me of years ago when a contestant on the Miss America contest would answer a question like:  "I would like to bring peace to the world and end all hunger!" She thinks or pretends to tell us that if she wins this election we will all stand around in this huge circle and sing "What the World Needs Now Is Love -------!! Tell that to those around the world like North Korea, China, ISIS and other extremist groups that hate us and maybe throw in a half dozen or so other dictators around the world.

       I think one has to be a realist. Another thing, I don't and never will buy into the Liberal Agenda of helping and really coming up with some solid solutions to problems in our inner cities. For minorities, buying into this hoax, election after election, is like Lucy telling Charlie Brown she won't take the football away! She always does! This isn't a perfect world and I think most of us realize it. Don't think anything of it if I don't join in at the campfire!

        

A GREAT MOVIE-HACKSAW RIDGE!

       Yesterday I went to Corallville to catch my Sunday morning flick. Hacksaw Ridge, the true World War II story directed by Mel Gibson will go down as one of the year's best. Believe me this movie is not for the fainthearted. It makes Leaving Private Ryan look pretty tame.

      You will love Pfc. Desmond Doss played by Andrew Garfield. He reminds you of another Anthony Perkins but with more appeal. It will leave you feeling very good about our fighting men and women. Did I say you will love this new young actor Andrew Garfield? 

SPECULATION WASTE OF TIME-BUT!

       Through the years, I have never been one to read or watch all the hype before a sporting event. Who cares if the quarterback has a hang-nail on his "pinkie!" During the Super Bowl the pre-game stuff goes on for hours. 

        The same can be said for this Election season. It just goes on and on. Polls, Polls, and more Polls. Then there is the Poll of Polls. But, to be honest for some reason I eat all this hype that is going on up! I love listening to all the yelling and screaming on the likes of CNN and MSNBC. Most of these are liking watching debates that have gotten way out of control.  

         Some are out right "cat fights" and it always is great when "your guy" gets the best of the commentator! Actually the final tally Tuesday night or into the wee hours could actually be a let-down either way. As far as I am concerned my life will go on either way and it won't affect my daily life to any great extent. As my mother used to say: "Somebody has to win and somebody has to lose!" 

CLEANING THAT GROVE!

       Along the lines of washing storm windows was cleaning the "grove." Just immediately to the north of our home was a grove of trees that was just north of our home and protected it from the severe winter winds. It was primarily mature soft maples. There was another grove further north about 100 hundred yards. It was mostly mature evergreens and maples. 

        The first or primary grove was the one that we raked and cleaned in the fall and sometimes in the spring. To make all this work worthwhile, my mother made sure we made a picnic of it at the conclusion. Making a big bonfire with one of the piles of limbs and twigs, we would roast hot-dogs. That was the best ever and what a treat. We didn't have a charcoal or gas grill back then. Who cared?

TIRED OF SAYING "IF I HAD MORE TIME!"

     
        The last few road trips that I have taken, it seems when I get back I am always saying "If I had or would have made more time"---I would have seen just a little more. When I get back home there is usually nothing that has made me return, necessarily,  on a certain schedule. 

        Well, time IS running out and my next trip this coming January will be extend beyond what I at first wanted to see. Don't get me wrong. I am some what limited by funds, but, a lot of it is just setting time limits and for no logical reason. Maybe, I'll get most of what I want to see and do in this country before I leave this planet. I'm going to give it my best shot.  That includes going to North Dakota. (Another story) The only one of three states I have never visited.    

AT ONE TIME COULD RATTLE OFF PRESIDENT'S!

       With the Presidential election only one day away, it reminded me of something I could do with some proficiency. When I was a younger man I could start at least with Franklin D. Roosevelt and recite all the Presidents right up to the present and I also could match the years they were elected and their length in office. Keep in mind that we added a view Presidents in the last 20 or 30 years since I could rattle them off!

       No, I couldn't name the vice-presidents , necessarily, or the middle names of them all and other trivia. But, now I have to write them all down and have to stop and think about if one or two were in for one or two terms. I am sure if given some kind of test on Presidents, I would do above average. One thing I was never good at was naming the Presidents by number. For some reason I never learned or it didn't sink in that, for example, Obama is the 44th President!

FALL AND WASHING WINDOWS!

         It was my job in the fall to wash windows. At what age this ritual started, I'm not sure. Only the lower windows were dealt with. Wood storms on in the fall, wood framed screens then stored back in the basement. In the Spring, the reverse. Mostly, vinegar and water and rags were used after being hosed off to eliminate cobwebs and dust. They were very heavy, but, I never remember breaking one window.

      Three things came out of fall window cleaning. One, to this day, Fall is my favorite season. Of course it was always a beautiful day when doing them. Two, I still enjoy doing windows and looking through a perfectly clean one and imagining that you're looking at a lovely scene without the window there. 

        Three, on those Saturdays, warm and crisp, set up on the west side of our house, I listened to the Iowa Hawkeyes on my blue portable radio. Life couldn't have been better. Just me and Jim Zable, the voice of the Hawkeyes, on WHO radio.

MORE CLEANING-THE BASEMENT & ATTIC!

     No wonder in later years I owned and operated a residential cleaning service. It seemed as a I was growing up in a huge old farm house, that was all we ever did was clean. I'm not sure if we did it twice a year, but, we did clean the basement and attic at least once a year.

       One thing I remember was going to nearby Laurel and purchasing a sweeping compound that had an red oily base to soak up the dust and dirt on the floors. We bought a lot of that stuff. I bet no one had a cleaner and as neat a basement and attic as we had in at least 3 counties! 

      Remember, a lot of basements were just dirt floors and not poured concrete like ours. It was also the complete size of the entire house. Same for the attic. It was nailed down wide wood plank flooring. As aside note from our attic we could see the Court House in Newton decorated at Christmas over 20 miles away. 

       There was a small attic on top of the main attic. I never remember going up there or why it was designed that way. I always wish I would have somehow as it would have been quite a view!

I DIDN'T NEED STINKIN' GPS!

       After I received an inquiry about doing some windows here in Williamsburg, I asked a couple of locals who have lived here in town all their lives. The street was East Washington and both individuals weren't sure. This town is only 3,000 in population and by all practical terms not that big. How could you not know any street and living here for ever?

        I did find it on my own. But, being a realtor for 15 years in Des Moines, Iowa, I prided myself in knowing pretty much every street not only in Des Moines, but, most of the nearby suburbs including Ankeny. I made it a point to know the evens and odds of addresses by which side of the street they were on. Also, if an address was 1200 35th, I could tell you what the nearest street was running the other direction.

        I didn't need any "stinkin" GPS devise. It was called using your old brain. I would bet that today many Realtors don't know their streets and just rely on their "tech" assistance! 

DECISIONS! DECISIONS! DECISIONS!

        Last night I drove over eat at the "Lucky 6 Lanes" bowling alley and restaurant on highway 6 outside Marengo, Iowa. I have talked about this place before. It is extremely clean, totally updated and great comfort food all the way around. 

       My intentions were to have either a tenderloin, which is out of sight, a hamburger which is just like your mother used to make in a caste iron skillet, or a fish in the basket, which someone had recommended. When I sat down at the counter, I looked over and posted was the "Special of the Day."-- A Hot Pork Sandwich with Mashed Potatoes and Gravy. Oh, No!

        I was not disappointed. That was the best Hot Pork or Beef, I had in a very long time. The gravy flavor was out of sight! Sometimes, you have hard decisions to make and you just have to make them!

A GOOD DRINKING MEMORY!

       A customer at the Burg Grocery this past week was talking about making a Brandy Alexander the after dinner ice-cream libation! That took me right to the days of the late 1960's and 1970's when there was a restaurant in Windsor Heights, Iowa called Gi-Gi's.

       It was located on University Avenue and back down a narrow walk-way to its entrance. It was owned by Lois and Howard Young at the time. The one reason you went there was not only the good food, but, was the magnificent and smooth ice-cream drink-"the Brandy Alexander! If I was ever to drink again, and I don't plan on it, that would be the treat that would take me there! 

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LOOKING AT LAZ-E BOY!

        When I was a very younger man, I always said that I would never get a Laz-E Boy type chair or lounge as it represented something that you got when you got older. All through the years, I either purchased a down filled straight chair with an ottoman or for years had a sectional and laid down while watching TV. 

        What has changed my thinking now is that I live in a small home and only have had room for a couch. It has been very uncomfortable and I just feel it is time to change. My next question is whether to buy a brand new chair or find one used to make sure that this is what I want to do before thinking of spending big money on a new one. 

        One thing I still don't do now that I am older is count out change from my plastic coin purse like old men do. I will never go to that extreme. When I start counting out those coins, I know the end is near!


  

"WHERE DID YOU GO EXCITING ON YOUR VACATION?

       One of the managers at the Burg Grocery got back from her vacation of last week. As always, I ask someone who has taken vacation time the same question. "Where did you go exciting on your vacation?"

         I don't ask it to be cute or funny, but, am always interested when people travel or engage in interesting events. It's just in my nature, I guess. The response was pretty much as I had expected. "Just stayed home!" 

       That response is usually the case and her answer was no big surprise. But, just once it would be a pleasant surprise to hear someone say the following: "We just got back from Egypt and took a mini-cruise down the Nile and visited the Great Pyramids on camel-back!" That may be a stretch, but, something along those lines would be better than going nowhere.  

STOMPED EGGS!

        While helping a lady out with her groceries yesterday, the conversation quickly pivoted from the weather to what we were having for supper. I mentioned that my choice for the evening was a breakfast type meal including toast a ham steal and some eggs "sunny side up."

       The lady's response to the eggs was that she and her husband preferred eggs that were cooked well done, hard, and then turned over and "stomped!" I started to laugh as I had never heard the stomped part. To each his/her own!